I'm at work right now and I need to figure out the plan for dinner. Lately, HAM and I have been consuming an inordinate amount of bread. He and I both have a weakness for delicious bread, or carbs of any kind, really. I used to have a shirt with a cartoon pig and cow dancing, and above these two happy creatures, it read, "I LOVE CARBS". This shirt obvioulsy had more to do with my being a vegetarian than it did for my love of carbs, but it's always been true. Some people crave steak or chicken. Some people think the hear of a meal is meat. I'm the type of person who thinks the appetizer, the salad, the side dish, and the entree are fine, but can't compare to that dinner roll, smothered in butter and still warm from the oven. If I could live off of just bread, I'd be a happy woman. Bagels, English muffins, sprouted wheat, pumpernickel, sourdough, the dinner roll, the breakfast biscuit, toasted, microwaved, or fresh out of the fridge, I don't care, just give me bread or give me death! Fuck that Atkins jerk-off and his all protein diet. Seriously? I once saw my old boss at a pizza joint pull all of the greasy, hot cheese off of a slice of pizza and eat it. He said he was doing the Atkins diet. I was like, "You're eating fat dripping with more fat, and you call yourself a dieter? On what planet?" And fine, the Atkins diet works, but it works by sending your body into ketosis, which is basically like sending it into shock. You get a weird taste in your mouth and you lose your capacity to move. It's like having some crazy disease, but woohoo! You lose weight. Whatever. I tried it. I ate shrimp and peanut butter for days and wanted to die. And the carb backlash is unreal. Any time I deprive myself of something I always end up going at it hard once I let it back in again. I'm still on a carb rampage from a year-old failed low-carb diet. The point is, we do need to reduce our carb intake. We need to increase our veggie intake. I'm okay with the amount of protein I eat, but he needs more. He's trying to build muscle and he's already taking creatine, but the damn guy just doesn't eat enough. I eat enough for both of us, but that won't help him. I've never met a guy with such a small appetite. I eat all of my meals faster than him, I'm hungry when he's not, and I usually want more when he's full. Plus, we almost always eat the same amount of food. It's unbelievable. No wonder he's worried I might look like my mom one day. But my Mom never exercised, and I exercise five days a week, sometimes twice a day, sometimes six days a week. So we can definitely eat some carbs. With all our working out, we are entitled to carbs, but we can't live off of them. We need to start eating healthier. I wish we had one of those Vitamix blenders. Of course, that's like a fat person saying they need a certain type of shoes in order to work out. It's really about just doing it despite circumstances or appliances or wardrobe. Nothing gets accomplished by purchasing shit. Things get accomplished by doing them. Don't even get me started on consumerism and how we're all brainwashed to believe that we need this in order to do that, that we won't be happy until we get such-and-such, that we can't start this until be by that, etc. We're all trained to believe that we need Cover Girl to be beautiful, Nikes to play basketball, Snickers to be satisfied, and Comet to clean the toilet. I hate commercials trying to brainwash me! And even if I consciously know it's bullshit and that I can make my own decisions, commercials don't work by telling you something and you believing it - no. Instead commercials slowly leak into the collective subconscious over time until all of truly believe that we need these brands and these products to live happily. So yeah, I want a Vitamix blender. I want it so I can make fresh cashew butter and heirloom tomato gazpacho. I didn't see it on an infomercial though (another thing my mom has a problem with - every Christmas she gets me something she saw on an infomercial). I actually read about it on a vegan chef's blog when I was trying to be vegan a couple years ago. By the way, I always imagine myself returning to veganism, but right now I'm just so happy that I can eat dairy without turning into a giant, red, itchy blotch. Oh 2% lattes, how I've missed you so! I guess I'm rambling about all kinds of stuff when what I really need to do is either find a recipe or a restaurant. And whatever happens, vegetables need to be involved.
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